Let's say you're trying to ask someone for a loan - and let's say you've asked a person for a loan before in the past. The person had given you the loan then, but the terms of the loan weren't too favourable, and you weren't very good about paying the loan back. The person isn't too keen on lending you the money again. Now when you ask for another loan, how would you do it? Would you (i) work out a proper scheme so that the person knows what returns to expect and when, or (ii) tell the person how you were so happy they gave you the loan, how sad you are they aren't lending you the money, and ask why they're so mean now?
Now let's transplant the whole issue to TNRM - the same principles apply. You're also trying to get someone to agree to what you are proposing, but here you're asking them to give TNRM a try. You need to come up with a workable proposal, telling the person in charge what to expect, that you intend to get the cats sterilised, and even if possible, a rough timeline. It pays to have a plan.
One of the caregivers had written a letter to send to a condo manager before I went away and asked me to read it. In a post I wrote then, I mentioned she had said she was sad he was killing the cats, and didn't understand why he didn't want to work with them and said that it was a good thing to save lives, etc, but she didn't address the problem that the condo manager had, which was complaints. He in turn, had been trapping cats and passing them to her in the past, which of course led to MORE cats coming into the estate due to the vacuum effect. Instead of explaining any of this to the manager, her letter was long on her feelings and short on fact.
I advised her not to send it, and she called yesterday to say she had sent it, but not as a letter, but in note form! Sigh. The manager replied negatively.
I repeated the same advice I gave her when she called the first time - talk about TNRM, find residents who like the cats there, etc. The thing is that she had insisted I read her letter even though I had told her it was HER letter and she should send whatever she wanted, and then when I gave her advice, she proceeded to send her original letter anyway. Now in a panic, she's calling because the manager won't meet with her.