Thursday, January 19, 2006

Trying to work it out

The woman who wrote in a while ago to say that she was upset because her mother in law was feeding cats, and may have caused her son to have fits, just wrote in again. The strange thing is that she's not trying to stop her mother-in-law, but rather she is trying to get CWS, the town council, AVA and every official body to stop people from delivering food to her home.

She said she has no problem with the food per se, but if the food stops, her mother-in-law will not be able to feed. She is upset her mother-in-law will come home in clothes which are contaminated.

This is assuming that (1) her mother in law will not just find some other food source. She could for example cook for the cats or (2) her mother-in-law stops feeding and decides instead to just play with the cats.

The woman also made an analogy to bowls of water lying out in the open (which might cause dengue) to the Australian man recently hung for drug smuggling. The point she was trying to make I think, was that both could hurt your family, so you should crack down on both. Hanging for people leaving water bowls out then?

It baffles me why people don't just speak with their family members and try and work things out. If that really doesn't work, then perhaps trying to move out or minimise contact with the other person might be the way to go. After all, they are your relations whom whether you like it or not, you are going to see for the rest of your life. To blow what is essentially a family disagreement up to the authorities is kind of a sad state of affairs.


Blogger =^..^= said...

I can't even follow her train of thoughts!

I'm sitting down and trying to line them up carefully to see the connection.

~5-Cat Style

19/1/06 12:22 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

When you figure it out, let me know :)

19/1/06 1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Next time when you get this kind of no-brainer-call can you just hang up??

That would be ideal, but I know you wouldn't...... :-)

19/1/06 1:31 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Anonymous, you're right there!

I'm going to call the town council to just make sure the cats are not in danger.

19/1/06 1:40 PM  
Anonymous imp said...

it's the art of human taiji and denial. where nothing is your fault and everything is someone's fault.

19/1/06 3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know to laugh or to dry over such real life comic! Thank goodness, suggestion to get rid of all the cats so that the MIL will not feed was not thought of.

19/1/06 3:42 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Anonymous, I'm worried that's what it'll come to actually. If she thinks that she cannot control her mother-in-law or the other volunteers in the area, she may try and get rid of the cats!

19/1/06 7:02 PM  
Blogger cat_aunty said...

Dear Dawn, I can only applaud you for your patience in dealing with this erm...strange...woman.

19/1/06 8:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hold all your thoughts pls. this woman has a real problem, which I am sure she'd rather not have.

it's not strange or a no-brainer when you actually have to resort to calling the police or a third party to resolve a family issue.

these are real people with real problems, just unfortunate that it involves (or the woman thinks so) cats.

i know, because i've had to call the police to confront my own brother.

19/1/06 11:12 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

20/1/06 12:00 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Anonymous is right in saying that the woman does have a problem that she cannot solve, but I find it very sad it's getting to this stage that everyone is getting involved. I spoke to one of the volunteers who says that the mother in law and daughter in law have never gotten along. The volunteer added that the mother-in-law does tend to get angry quite easily, but that the daughter-in-law has made life rather difficult for her as well.

I have suggested to this woman that mediation might be a solution. I spoke to one of the volunteers there and they have actually taken steps to try and resolve the situation (by removing the food supply from the home), but their intentions were taken the wrong way by the woman. They have all agreed to stay out of the situation and let them resolve this themselves.

20/1/06 12:03 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Anonymous, one other thing - I'm not sure what happened with your brother, but in this case, the woman is trying to solve an internal family problem (ie she's not happy with her mother-in-law) by influencing external factors that won't help. Even if she stops the supply of food, the mother-in-law has been feeding for years before that. She WILL find food somehow. Even the daughter-in-law admits that the problem is NOT the food - so what is the problem? In her eyes, her mother-in-law's behaviour. Certainly there was no mention that the mother-in-law was violent or abusive so it's not as if she is in danger for her life.

If that's the case, then how can she solve the problem? By working it out with her mother-in-law. Whether she likes it or not, and I realise the relationship may be one beyond repair, that is the ONLY way solve the problem. Either that, or one of them has to move out. Involving the TC, AVA and CWS is not going to be able to help her.

Even if everything else is stopped, short of tying her mother in law to the bed, she's not going to be able to stop her from going down and feeding the cats.

20/1/06 12:17 AM  

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