Friday, January 20, 2006

Where does it end?

You know what really annoys me? When people start quoting from religious books to say that God has made Man to be higher than animals - forgetting that it said in the first place that it said that animals were to be treated well! This is the latest missive from the daughter-in-law who is quoting scripture to say that people are more important than animals.

I read an interesting commentary that said that while this might be true (and of course this depends on what religion you belong to), the main thing is that the basic tenet underlying this is that animals are to be treated well to begin with. Many people forget that.

Anyway, the daughter-in-law has said she will stop writing to me because she will take it up with further authorities if she needs to. She is steadfastly silent on whether she has tried to speak with her mother-in-law. She has ignored my suggestions for mediation.

Her argument is thus - her son is ill, and his immunity is weak. Therefore her mother in law must stop feeding. I can see the chain of logic from one to two - however I don't see how it links to feeding the cats. I have suggested that the mother-in-law be asked to shower and change her clothes before coming into contact with any of them as an additional precaution, but she did not respond to that either.

Here's the thing, if everyone who has an argument with a family member decides to go to the authorities, then when will it end? I can see that in some situations, where the situation is really bad, that the authorities might have to be called in, especially if someone is violent or abusive. In this case, this is an elderly lady - and what can the authorities to do make her cease and desist from feeding? What if in the future you don't like the way your mother-in-law hangs the laundry out, can you call your town council? Or what if your daughter-in-law doesn't spend as much time with your grandchild as you think she should? Again, let's involve the authorities!
If anything, counselling might be a good solution as Vegancat suggested, but she has ignored that suggestion too.

9 Comments:

Blogger =^..^= said...

You know, this whole thing is so illogical... and it may be because the conflict goes far deeper than just feeding the cats.

I think the mother and daughter-in-law and severe issues and this is just another way of getting back at the other.

~5-Cat Style

20/1/06 12:58 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Could well be. I just hope the cats aren't the victims of it too - there are enough people affected by this.

20/1/06 12:59 PM  
Anonymous Annoyed said...

Can we arrange to send this (SCB) - 'seow char bor' daughter-in-law to the Mental Hospital As SOON as Possible?? I dun see the need to entertain her NONSENSE!!

20/1/06 2:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She is just using her son bit to get rid of her MIL. I liken this to elder abuse and she should be the one reported to the authorities.

20/1/06 2:38 PM  
Blogger vegancat said...

http://www.sage.org.sg/ccservices.htm

SAGE HELPLINE FOR SENIORS 1800 353 8633

FACE-TO-FACE COUNSELLING
This provides an avenue for the older persons and/or their caregivers to discuss various issues and concerns which may include:

Marital or spousal conflicts between older persons, intergenerational or relationship difficulties
Physical or psychological (e.g. suicidal thoughts, anxiety, depression) health issues
Loneliness and isolation
Stress
Abuse
This face-to-face service is provided by Centre staff who are trained professionals. Problems discussed are kept confidential. It is currently provided free-of-charge and appointments are made via the Helpline.

20/1/06 2:42 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Thanks Vegancat - that's very helpful! Unfortunately there is no way to 'force' them to go for counselling, should they not want to go.

20/1/06 2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what if the consultant at the service centre do not like cats. They will just advice the MIL to stop feeding the cats to solve the problem.

When i started to have allergy and breathing problem, my friends, some are dog lovers, don't understand why I can't give up my cats for the sake of my health.

20/1/06 2:59 PM  
Blogger vegancat said...

We have to trust that being trained counsellors, they will be able see what we non-counsellors, are able to percieve. The issue is not the cats but a chronic deterioration of relationship between DIL and MIL.

20/1/06 5:05 PM  
Anonymous Aminah Bee said...

Gee Whiz! We normally heard the term mother-in-law from hell, but not daughter-in-law from hell.

The poor mother-in-law having to put up with daily emotional abuse from the daughter-in-law.

If the daughter-in-law ever cared for the feelings of the mother-in-law, tell her that researchers have shown that pets (does not matter if they are strays) have the ability to heal people, especially the lonely elderly and the disabled, including austistic children.

All religions preached that animals should be treated with kindness.
Does not matter if the daughter-in-law is not a Muslim, but I like to quote few scriptures from Muslim holy text called the Hadith, as an exemplary -- treat animals with kindness:
"Animals do pray to God as other creations do."
"Be kind to animals and heaven awaits you."
"Cruelty to animals is treated with grave contempt and the harshest of penalties, the fire of hell is accorded any individual whoever dares to be cruel to animals."
Whatever is your religion, remember this: Animals do pray to God as other creations do.
More info found in Singapore Cats Groups Msn message board:
Website URL
http://groups.msn.com/SingaporeCats
click to "True Stories"
Subject title "Prophet Muhammad and kindness to animals in Islam"

20/1/06 7:32 PM  

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