Monday, July 31, 2006

Don't get taken advantage of

I just spoke with a rather upset woman for quite a while as she is having problems with another feeder in the estate. The feeder passed the woman some kittens and paid her some money to board them and promised to take them back two weeks ago.

The kittens also got sick and the woman brought them to the vet. Apparently, when she told the feeder about it, the feeder told her that it was just too bad, and to bury them if they died.

The woman is upset because she says a lot of people tend to come and pass her cats and that she cannot cope. She said that other people ask her to take over their feeding routes, or ask her to take in cats and she is already struggling. She said her own cats are getting very stressed out too. She wanted to know what she can do about the feeder.

I told her frankly, there is nothing she can do with regards to these cats except perhaps put them up for adoption. She could of course dump the kittens outside the feeder's house provided she knows where the feeder lives, but speaking to the woman, I don't think she could bring herself to do it.

On a longer term basis however I told her to just say no when the feeder comes by again. Some people pick up cats and blackmail others into taking them in (the cat will be sent to the SPCA, it may end up on the street if you don't take it, etc). What I told her she needs to do is say no the next time. There is a certain limit everyone can take - and it's important for the person taking the cats in to say they cannot. If you say you will take the cats in when you can't, you're sending the wrong message out too.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agreed with Dawn. I have a neighbour (an acquaintance) who likes to hoard kittens from Woodlands (causeway point area and Ang Mo Kio). She passed all her kittens to me and when I refused to take them, she threatened to send them to SPCA or AVA to be killed. She even said that the authorities there; either strangled the kittens or electrocuted them to death. She said the animal welfare and control officers will put a rope around the kitten's neck and strangled it to death. She also told me that cats were splashed with cold water, left to shiver and die. All sorts of things she told me...

I am a Buddhist, a compassionate person, therefore I can't bear to see the kittens being killed, so I took all of them into my home. I was so stressful and depressed because I cannot cope. I fell ill and had been in and out of hospitals.

My neighbour don't suffer but I suffered. My family also suffered.

That neighbour who passed me all her kittens was a feeder herself. She is so selfish. She threw her problems to me and washed her hands cleaned. Months ago, I had stopped associating with her because I hv to put a stop to her nonsense.

Please let this lady to say NO to that feeder.

Sometimes, I feel, people take our kindness as weakness.

31/7/06 3:38 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Here's an easy way to tell if the person is genuine or not - say no! If they care about the cat, they would probably just thank you and try and find somewhere else.

Sure sometimes we're ALL full and need help - and it's fine to ask for it. However, the person asking shouldn't impose if they know the other person shouldn't cope. The person who is being asked should also be honest and just say that you can't take the kitten in if you cannot.

31/7/06 3:42 PM  
Blogger Salt * Wet * Fish said...

I can empathize with what has happened. I think a lot of times, we think that we are acting out of good for the "other" cats, when in fact, it may be either detrimental to those cats and/or to your own cats and yourself also. If we get stessed or cannot handle too much, your own cats may be stressed out and neglected and you get sick and depressed, just because we think we are doing a "kind" deed by taking in more cats then we can handle.

Its important for us to remind ourselves daily that we cannot solve all the problems of the world. There are millions and millions of cats, dogs, animals and people suffering and dying daily, we cannot just take everything on when we encounter them, unless we have the capacity to.

31/7/06 6:44 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

I couldn't have said it better myself. If you can do your part, and do it well, that's already a lot! Overstretching results in burnout in the long run.

31/7/06 6:50 PM  

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