Friday, August 31, 2007

Checking before adopting the cat

I just spoke with a woman who called for the first time yesterday about her cat being adopted out. Apparently she adopted the cat out two days ago, and felt something was wrong. She asked for the cat back yesterday but the woman who adopted the cat out was unable to meet. The adopter asked if she could return the cat this morning instead. The foster went down to the home and said she was standing there looking at the balcony where they said the cat was being kept and she could not see it, so she got worried and called me.

The foster called me in a panic. The cat had been posted on another website (not CWS) and that is how she got to know the potential adopters. She had not signed a trial agreement nor an adoption contract but she wanted to know what her recourse was if they did not want to return the cat. Frankly it would be difficult to prove because she willingly handed the cat over in the first place.

The cat was returned this morning, but only after the husband had sent her an SMS which the woman claims was a threatening SMS telling her to leave his wife alone. The woman said that she did not harass the wife.

This morning apparently the cat was dropped off at the guard house by someone whom she says was neither of the couple. She felt this showed that they passed the cat to someone else. The woman said the cat smelt of urine and looked thinner. She said she planned to post all this on the internet, identifying the couple and their address.

First of all, as I pointed out to her, the cat was given two days ago- it is going to be difficult to prove it was starved or ill treated. The cat might have urinated in the carrier on the way back - it can and does happen that cats being frightened do dirty themselves especially if in a strange car or vehicle. It is also difficult to prove the cat was starved if it was a matter of two days because it would be hard to see any appreciable weight loss.

As for handing the cat to someone else, again there's no proof of that. The couple I suspect does not want to see the foster. It does seem that they think she is harassing them so they may have asked someone else to drop the cat off. I told her that she should think very carefully about posting potentially defamatory remarks on the Internet unless she was sure she had proof to substantiate it. She decided she probably should not.

Bottom line - be careful before you adopt the cat out and make sure that you do get some agreement in place between yourself and the adopters if you do. It's always easier to make the decision not to give the cat to them then to try and wrest control back once the cat has been adopted out.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

31/8/07 5:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hai. this world, our tiny island inclusive is filled with sad sickos. don't know to pity them or be angry. from sick cat fosterers to sick adopters (sorry, not refering to you anonymous5:13pm.) to sick hoarders to sick souls who don't have enough to eat but still ""rescueing" cats and helljailing them in toilets and hellcages. if got 14 rabbits and 2 dogs and etc counting surely sounds mad man! and i wholeheartedly agree, whichever cat/rabbit/dog kenna her also cham. gawd.
(oh please people, if you already have bigger problems in your life, take courage to solve them. unemployment, fear of aloneness, comp0ulsive behavior, extreme inferiority or/and superiority complexes, past deep hurts, painful memories, face up to your problems and hurts. spend your energy and sanity on getting well and forgiving. you are not alone, so no need to escape. not through all these animal stuff. leave them alone, they are really better off withOUT you for now. you will then be more and better realistic to get to the road of real recovery.)

1/9/07 3:49 AM  
Anonymous huh said...

I believe the cat found a good home but when anxiety struck and relationship and logic broke down, cat got returned.

Animal rescues are NEVER easy, forever an emotional roller coaster. Let's forgive, encourage one another so that the burden of caring for the multitdes of strays could be a joyous experience for all.

I am fully convinced both the parties involved in the adoption truly wanted the cat to have a good life.

1/9/07 6:12 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

I'm removing the first post because someone's name was mentioned and it's potentially defamatory.

huh - that is possible. I think what needs to be clear from the outset is what is expected from both sides. One thing that has happened in a few adoption cases is that the foster gets very worried after the fact, or decides they want to visit all the time. One woman we know insisted on visiting so often, the cat was returned - it's not that she wasn't happy with the adoptive home either, she just wanted to see the cat. In the end, the adopter couldn't take it and returned the cat. And the foster promptly put it back up for adoption - and did the same thing the second time again!

Adoption does mean letting go - the adopter didn't ask to adopt YOU, they asked to adopt the cat, so do be reasonable when visiting and calling. No one wants to get six SMSes a day for example either.

1/9/07 11:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can I post it again without the name mention? Cuz the original post in pets channel has the name mentioned anyway. It's already publicly available to anybody who registered in the pet channel forum.

I'd link it but I think you can't read it unless you register.

I think both are connected and it's good to post both sides of the story for people to make up their own minds.

1/9/07 7:21 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Anonymous - just because it's posted somewhere else publicly doesn't mean it's not defamatory :) Yes you can post the gist of it as long as it doesn't have identifying details.

1/9/07 9:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To find this original post, I saw it in Pet Channel forum, Lost and found section. I thought this might be the same case. Adopter's side of the story. It's long.

To all forummers and pet lovers here...pls beware of this person *censored* as she had posted her cat for adoption here...and the cat's name is Ding Dang. Pls do not misintepret it as flaming as it really happen. It all happen when I called her a few days ago informing her of my interest to adopt her cat. She came over ysterday nite(29/08/2007) n we met n chatted abt the cat in question. The purpose of her visit was to intro the cat to me n chking out my home whether if its conducive for her cat. Anyway, she seem assured of my knowledge with the caring of cats as I've had many yrs adopting and caring for local n pure breeds. And my apartment is big enuff for the cat to roam abt. Furthermore *censored* claims that she knows nothing about caring for cats. Besides her home is full of pets - 14 rabbits, 2 dogs, etc. Although im 9mths pregnant..that still does not stop me from having n loving n caring for a cat. She finally gave the cat to me n we bade goodbye after informing her that i may migrate next yr, and i will have to be in 6 weeks confinement after the birth of my child. But this morning, she called again asking me whether if she's allowed to visit the cat, as i had informed her b4 hand she would be allowed to visit the cat during this weekend. Coz Im celebrating my hubby's B'day today(30/08/2007) so i will be quite tied up. Ok long story short - I told her straight that she's allowed to visit the cat during the weekend n after the confinement period but yet she hesitated and requested that I return the cat to her immediately!!. Furthermore she said that she was SUPPOSED to imposed a 2 week trial...but that was not wat we agreed upon...and I told her that we are too bz to entertain to her request as i was tied up. Thru out the day she kept hounding me...wanting to have the cat back...I immediately screamed at her for being a pest n for going back on her word....finally i relented and told her that she may hv the cat back the next day as i mentioned earlier i had to prepare for my Hubby's surprise B'day. All of a sudden, she appear infront of my door n demanded that i hand the cat over...I so so shocked that i almost went into labour. I immediately told her to stop harassing n i called security, she claimed that she has called the police. WTF!!!!.... here i am pregnant...n happy having a new cat...n she;s here making a mess out of it for nothing...juz becoz i told her i may be preoccupied to entertain to her request at the moment. If she's so intent on letting her cat for adoption..why then does she have to make a nuisance of herself...and harass me. If she thinks that she feels otherwise abt me adopting her cat then she shld not have given me the cat after our mutual agreement. Might as welll keep the cat herself. The only pity i have is for the cat, as it seems that this is not the first time i've heard abt her doing this to other ppl. Furthermore she is subjecting the poor cat to unnecessay stress, n torture by making the cat constantly move from one house to another. In addition, she claims she was from Metta Cats Society or was it Cats Welfare Society...can't remember. This episode has left me traumatise by her constant harassment. I;m planning to call the relevant authorites of the inhumane nature she's has been putting on the cat. Watever it is, she shld hv faith in the new owners and not try to harass them. If she is so worried about the well being of the cat...she might as well keep the cat herself!!...So pls forummers...beware of her

2/9/07 5:27 PM  
Anonymous huh said...

For most welfare groups, there are proper adoption procedures and no one would be calling/SMS you 6 times a day and showing up at your home without an appointment.

Hope another cat is given a home soon with a happy ending.

3/9/07 1:41 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

huh - I think the thing is that welfare groups cannot stop a foster from calling/SMSing/visiting even if there are proper procedures.

3/9/07 9:48 AM  

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