Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Talk about being ungrateful Part II

As I was speaking with the person volunteering to help with transport this morning about what happened today a short while ago, he told me that he received yet another SMS from the young man. The man had texted him to say that he would ensure that he would get banned from being a volunteer.

The adoption volunteer then spoke with me. What happened is this - the young man had tried to post a cat on the adoption board a while ago and it was unsterilised. She explained to him that it is not CWS' policy to post unsterilised cats beyond a certain age. He said that he was broke, and the adoption volunteer felt bad for him and in fact paid for food to be delivered to his home. The volunteer who was to help with transport this morning had been the one who had been bringing the food - in fact he isn't so much a CWS volunteer but is more someone helping the adoption volunteer as he knows her and is doing her a favour.

The adoption volunteer then showed me an email from the young man which he wrote to her and copied to one of the MPs. In it, he asked the MP to ensure that the person helping with transport be struck off the list of CWS volunteers. He said that he felt the person had raised his voice at him (the person denies it). He went on to add that he works 12 hour shifts and that the person helping with transport is not his 'paymaster'(?). He also said that he did not ask for help but that because they offered, he accepted (the adoption volunteer in fact told me she DID get an SMS from him asking for help and asking her to get the cat sterilised). He also said that if someone wants to help him, he has to do it (yes, watch out here it comes!) 'sincerely'.

The adoption volunteer wrote back to clarify. She also pointed out was that none of this was done because or on behalf of CWS - she had felt bad for the young man as he kept saying he was broke, and so she had paid for everything herself because she wanted to help him.

A few things strike me as being very unusual - firstly, does the person comprehend what a volunteer actually does? A volunteer isn't paid - someone who volunteers time and effort does it because, well they're volunteering! By the whole notion of volunteerism, someone helps out willingly and not expecting any form of compensation monetary or otherwise.

Secondly, what IS it with people telling you that they work 12 hour shifts or that they help X number of cats, etc. Yes I get it - you work hard. So does 90% of the population, so does the person who helped with the transport. The same goes for people who tell you how much they do for the cats. The people I find who work the most for the cats are also the ones who are the quietest about it - they don't have to tell you what they're doing, usually because they're doing it for the cats and they know what they're doing. They don't feel the need for external validation.

Thirdly, now the fact that someone offers help is held against them? It's as if people should feel embarrassed that they offer help. And conversely, by the mere fact of acceptance it's as if the people offering help are having a favour bestowed on THEM. I've always been brought up to believe that generally if you don't want help, you say no, or maybe even no, thank you.

Finally what is with 'sincere' helping? What is anyone gaining from the whole transaction other than helping this man and his cat?

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10 Comments:

Anonymous yskat said...

I suspect that this could be a power & ego thing: very often, people who are holding out their hands for freebies do not want to think of themselves as being in a subordinated position.

28/8/07 5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why must the young man be so nasty to the volunteer? He seems to have a grudge to grind with the volunteer? Perhaps he is too emotional.

28/8/07 5:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

by the way, is the cat with him doing ok? i tend to think that if he can be this unreasonable and demanding, how well could the poor cat be treated? let's hope i'm wrong.

28/8/07 5:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

erm... I'm new here... just curious - when you say 'MP' do you mean 'Minister of Parliment'?

28/8/07 5:30 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Sorry Anonymous yes - member of Parliament.

28/8/07 5:36 PM  
Anonymous imp said...

this is the very typical singaporean behavior that i abhor. give someone an inch and he'll take a yard and be all self righteous about it.

i still think, why bother helping when the large majority of the population doesn't appreciate your efforts. and in fact, spit it right back in your face and tell you to be more 'sincere'.

28/8/07 6:28 PM  
Anonymous anonymous 999 said...

This man may have paranoid schizophrenia, having delusions of persecutions. Instead of appreciating the volunteers' good intentions, he felt they were plotting against him by shouting, by being insincere hence his disordered thinking led him to seek MP's help for ' revenge '.

28/8/07 11:23 PM  
Anonymous apple said...

This guy is just a troublemaker,who likes to make other ppl unhappy,just because he is a unhappy person himself.
And since he is working,sterilising a cat doesn't cost much,around $100,or 3days of his work day.
It's is definitely affordable.He just doesn't want to sterilise his cat.

29/8/07 1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Young man started working recently. Another of his cats, a male was transported/sterilised on 27 April by volunteer at no cost to young man. He had to bring down/collect kitten from void deck. Oh yes, & to keep food/water from kitten the night b4 surgery. Adoption volunteer.

29/8/07 2:45 PM  
Anonymous huh said...

Cheers to the adoption volunteers, they face loads of rubbish yet they are there delivering first class miracle service for the cats and their owners.

29/8/07 3:20 PM  

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